Friday, February 24, 2017

Colorado Springs, CO

I find it mildly ironic that in my last post I commented on my anxiety having gotten better. That night I went off and had one of the worst panic attacks I have had in awhile. I don't know what had triggered it but it made that night relatively sleepless. It wasn't until about three in the morning I think I finally fell asleep. My day had gone great, nothing out of the ordinary but that night I felt my anxiety creeping in for no reason until it felt like I was having a heart attack. By now you think I would be able to remember that when I have a panic attack it feels like a heart attack and be able to calm down but that is quite opposite of what happens. It just compounds on itself making it worse and worse. I don't think it helped that the pillow I was using managed to bend my head in a way that made my tongue choke myself and jerk me awake. I managed to convince myself that it was me feeling me heart skip a beat or kick really hard until I realized what was really going on. Needless to say the past couple days I have had some pretty rough parts just with the anxiety creeping on out of nowhere. Today has seemed to be pretty good so far and I hope to keep it that way. I really could use a full night of sleep.

On to more enjoyable news, this week I got a couple days in a row of rest which was greatly needed. My body and mind started getting a little fried. It was also timely to give my chest a bit of rest. I went into sports med to get the chest pain I have been having looked at and they concluded it was costochondritis. Which doesn't surprise me its something I have had before. Pretty much what happens is the cartilage between the ribs and sternum becomes inflamed and can feel like a heart attack. This obviously didn't help my anxiety until I had someone with far greater knowledge reassure me that I was fine and just had to wait for the inflammation to go down. It makes training a little tricky when I start to breathe deeply it will become painful but I have mostly been able to manage through it.

I finally set up my mailbox the other week and wasn't expecting anything but had a feeling to check it the other day and was surprised to see a letter in it. I had gotten one from my aunt Jean. It really made me happy just to hear from someone from home. This afternoon I gave her a call and talked to her for a little bit. It was really nice hearing a familiar voice especially when it from someone as sweet as she is.

Today I was back at it training hard. The weather here has cooled off a substantial amount and forced training indoors. Not ideal but it got the job done and I suffered along side several other residents. Tomorrow looks to be mildly warmer if that and I would like to get outside for that workout. Hopefully mother nature smiles on me and at least makes it sunny.

I feel like I have made it a theme to post some photos along with my posts. I really haven't taken any note worthy photos since the last one. These are more for myself to remember everyone back home and I can't wait to see you all again, I love you.

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