I really should just stop lying to you. I will update this when I update it. I started updating it while I was sitting in a random basement in Grand Junction, Colorado and started having a panic attack and that put a quick end to that plan. It may seem like I talk about that a lot, the anxiety that is but it's no cause for alarm. I am working on it and seeing someone for it. It just helps me to write about it from time to time and really this blog is to help me not you.
It's the week after nationals and I haven't really taken the chance to go back and reflect on how everything went. For those whom are less informed this past week was road nationals out in Grand Junction, CO. Finally a nationals I was able to drive to! At the same time was collegiate nats so I was able to see some friends from MN and I was able to bum a place to stay from a couple friends who are on the Colorado College cycling team.
I got out there on Tuesday to pick up my buddy Sam from the airport and we stayed the next two nights in a random basement. This seems to be the theme to many of my trips....basements. While we were together we spent most of our time pre riding the TT course. The weather was just awful, cold, and windy. We both were glad we spent our time getting a feel for that course. It wasn't overly technical but knowing the profile was very helpful. His parents came into town and he went to stay with them. The next several nights I was fortunate enough to bum a place off some new friends. Yes that's right I have managed to make some friends off the OTC while being out here. Friday was the time trial, which for us is the most important race as far as being selected for World Cup events. Thankfully my start time was a little later in the day. The weather never really warmed up tho and the wind was something brutal. This was the first time I had ever wore leg warmers in a TT. I knew pacing was going to be key to a good performance. Five km's out I was starting to fade heavily and 3km to the finish was a 10% kicker that was gonna be a spot that could put the nail in the coffin for those trying to win. Coming across the line I was convinced I was 2nd, I thought for sure Cody had beaten me and I was whimpering in pain from the effort I just put out. I came back to the start finish to a crowd of people congratulating me on my win. I don't know if I was just out of it mentally and it wasn't registering with me what was going on or if I still had myself convinced I had lost. Partially it was a little bit of both and I didn't want to accept the result until I actually had the stars and strips jersey on whilst on the top step of the podium. It still hasn't entirely sunk in and I don't know if it ever will. I have a hard time accepting and giving myself credit when I accomplish something.
The other races went well and I managed a good result in the road race. Cody who got second and I went off the front from the gun and managed a 2 man break. He made a really smart move and got away from me and I was able to hold off the chase group for second. I really wanted that win but gotta give credit when credit is due and he did a great job that day and is a deserving winner. Someone who I am really happy for is one of the people from CC that I was staying with. Two weeks ago she was in a really bad crash that sent her to the hospital. Seeing how quickly she has recovered from such an awful crash and then manages to get on the podium in the road race I think is absolutely phenomenal. I am more happy for her result than my own especially considering the circumstances she was under.
Overall the trip went really well. I'm happy I got to see familiar faces from back home and stay with some really fun people. I did have my own mental battles I had to deal with. I had this overall sense of stress lingering and felt like I was on the verge of loosing control the entire time. The nights between all the races was really bad. It kept me up for what felt like hours. When my anxiety is really bad I get hypnic jerks which happen when I start to fall asleep and it does a great job adding to the anxiety and keeps me up for a while.
Now that that is out of the way let's get onto some more exciting news! So I am leaving this upcoming Sunday to go spend two weeks in Europe pretending to race bikes. The first week will be in Italy and the second will be in Belgium. I will be there racing the first two world cup events which I am super excited for. I will make sure to actually update the blog plenty while I am over there to keep everyone in the know and more importantly so I can reflect on it once I am elderly.
As always I really wanna give a shot out to my family back at Revolution Cycle and Ski, you guys are the best and I can't wait to come back and harass all of you. Also Timmer at HED thanks for all the support you have given me throughout the years. I am a firm believer that HED makes the best product out there and I wouldn't wanna ride anything else even if it was given to me. The confidence those wheels gave me this weekend was just what I needed.
Individual Time Trial Podium